Some perspective - (just) in time

In the last month I've been battling with a bad hip and a bad attitude.  I was depressed, anxious, sad, and angry that all of the hard work I had put in during the summer was going to be wasted because my training was coming to a standstill and my hip was likely to bother me during Pumpkinman and beyond (Hello, Nike Marathon). Truthfully, I was acting like spoiled brat because I wasn't getting my way.  This is behavior I should recognize, since I deal with a three-year-old every day, but somehow I just didn't see it that way.

This weekend turned that attitude on its ridiculous head.  There were a number of things that helped set me straight, but the first was that I spent the day on Sunday with the Russian--just the two us.  Just the two of us.  That doesn't happen much.  We had lunch, watched a movie, laughed, and just plain enjoyed ourselves.  It probably seems weird that this is momentous for me. And, it is weird. With our busy work schedules, with a Noggin to look after, and both of us training for a half-ironman, there never seemed to be much time for that sort of thing.

What the day made me realize was that the training was sucking the enjoyment out of my life in other areas.  I was so focused on getting my training in and then on what I viewed as the colossal failure of my body (the hip injury) that I wasn't seeing what I was giving up to be doing this race.  And what might that be?

1. Sleep = At the peak of my training I was sleeping 4-6 hours a night.  Personally, this is not enough for me to function like a normal human being. Not even close.
2. Quality time with my family - While I would get up at 4 am (even on Saturdays) to workout and be done fairly early, my schedule would make me tired and cranky the rest of the day.  More power to you parents who can be the kind, supportive, engaged parents your kid deserves on little to no sleep.
3. Quality time to myself - My time to myself involved sweating, pain, and/or ice, but not so much enjoyment.  Not what I would call QT.

I guess the point is that doing races (at least for those of us who don't expect to win) should be at least just a tiny little bit fun.  The Russian has been telling me for weeks now (since the bad attitude started) that I should be enjoying the training, and that otherwise the whole thing is pointless.  Of course since he is never right and I am supremely stubborn, I've been wallowing instead of listening.  I've been running when I should have been resting my hip.  I've been unhappy instead of enjoying the summer before the Noggin goes to preschool.

While I don't think it's silly to care about your training or your race performance, it is silly to care beyond what it is really worth. Of course reaching your goals and improving yourself is important (I truly believe that), but it's really just not the be all and end all.

I've got a bit of the tunnel vision thing going on, so I have to remind myself to keep this idea front and center - there are so many things more important than a race.  So I hug my Noggin and I kiss my Russian and thank my lucky stars that the worst thing I'm facing is that I have a bad race next Sunday.

Oh - and I'm finally resting the hip (though it evilly doesn't seem to improving with rest).